Anger Management

Practical and Spiritual ways to conquer Anger!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Our last blog was on ‘Fear and Anger’ and we had touched upon the roots of both these emotions and also the method of conquering fear. Today we will take up anger.

As we saw in the previous blog these two emotions are biological throwbacks to our primitive past. At that time they were absolutely essential for our survival. But today, we find that these two reactions are the ones that are most dangerous and might well end in the total annihilation of the human race. A number of angry individuals in a society will make an angry society which is like a pile of wooden chips which need only a spark to set it alight. Just one provocative word and the whole society rises up in arms and starts to fight amongst themselves. 

Unfortunately we have many such angry societies in the world today which is the root cause of the distress and disasters in the world. But anger can only be controlled at the individual level so we have to start changing the mentality of the individual if we want to change the mind-set of the world.   

Anger is characterized by a feeling of intense negative emotions that a person experiences when certain things which he can’t tolerate happen in his life.

Excessive anger leads to various psychological, physiological, and biological changes in a person that disturb the normal functioning of the human body. It leads to increased blood pressure, increased body temperature, anxiety, gastric ulcers, substance abuse, hormonal changes, rapid heartbeat, excess sweating, and many more. All such conditions affect the body and eventually stops all normal functioning.

Let us see what the Hindu scriptures have to say about anger. The Bhagavad Gita says that desire is the root cause for anger. When we desire an object and we don’t get it, we get angry and if this is not controlled, we lose our senses and end up by doing things which will eventually bring us to ruin. Anger is perhaps the greatest cause for the break-up of relationships.  

Actually, anger is of two types. We can have “righteous anger,” which is what we feel when we see someone harming an animal or hitting a child without any provocation. In this case it is our duty to get a bit angry and reprimand the person.

However most of the time, our anger is an instinctive reaction and throwback to our ancient past. We lose our discriminatory power and hence lose all control of ourselves. We get angry when someone does not do what we want them to do – like parents getting angry with disobedient children. Shouting and getting angry will never bring about the desired results. In fact, it will only end in worsening the situation. It would be much better to sit and talk to the child and make her understand the reason for the anger.

If you probe into the reason for a person to get angry, you will realise that the root cause is a feeling that your ego has been put down. The other person has not shown you the respect that you think you deserve or has insulted you or made fun of you and tried to make you less than you are. In other words, our self- esteem is threatened. In such situations we lash out at the person without finding out the cause for their behaviour. In many cases we may feel sorry for what we have said but the harm has already been done and perhaps a rift has been made in your friendship with the other person which can never be made up!! This is why we say that “a word when once spoken can never be recalled.” 

In a state of anger, we have no control over our tongue and we are sure to hurt the feelings of the person against whom we are lashing out. Very often the damage thus caused is irrevocable and may well end in the total collapse of the relationship. 

The Sanatana Dharma gives many ways to control our anger. One of the most important methods is “pranayama”, or breath control. We all know that breath and emotions have a very strong connection. When we get angry, we take short and fast breaths. It is literally impossible to be angry and keep breathing slowly and softly at the same time. 

If at that time we could just sit down and start some pranayama like anulom/vilom, which is control of breath in alternate nostrils, you will find that the sensation of anger will immediately cool down. Of course, at that critical point of time when we have lost our temper it would be impossible to sit down and practice pranayama which is one of the best remedies for controlling anger.

Anger is triggered off very fast in people whose stress levels are high. Daily practice of pranayama and meditation are the best methods for keeping our stress level down and consequently controlling our anger. All those who are holding down highly stressed jobs should keep it in mind that they have a responsibility to their own selves which is as important as they have to their jobs. If our minds are churned up, our anger levels will be very high and we will burst out without much provocation. This in turn will lead to a deterioration in relationships and will eventually affect our health which in turn will make us less efficient than we are now. So, in the end it is always better to see that you take care of yourself and keep some time to practice your sadhana so that you will be more efficient and less likely to burst out in anger.

The Sanatana Dharma has other methods of anger management also. We have certain gods who are known as “Shanta Murtis”. Praying to them will help us to overcome our angry moods. Ganesha is always prayed to before the start of any function or travel since he is the remover of obstacles both physical and spiritual. It is said that reciting this mantra to Ganesha at the start of the day will slowly make our mind calm and stop us from reacting to situations with anger.

Hurting others for no reason always results in bad karma and recitation of this powerful mantra of Lord Ganesha helps in the proper management of karmas as the person learns to keep calm and patient during provocative situations that normally trigger off anger. Keep a photo or murti of Ganesha in front of you and pray to him to get rid of your anger. This mantra should be used. At least one mala can be chanted once a day. After about a month of following this faithfully, your stress and anger levels will certainly come down.

Aum Gatakrodhaaya Namaha! 

ॐ गतक्रोधाय नम:॥

Another deity who is known for his benign nature is Lord Vishnu. Daily worship of Vishnu and the chanting of his mantra will most definitely result in bringing down your mental temperature. Very soon you will find that situations in which you would normally blow your top will leave you calm and in control. 

Again, this has to be made a daily practice. Keep a murti or photo of Vishnu in your table or puja room. Sit in front of it and make it a daily practice to recite this mantra at least one hundred and eight times or one mala!

This will help in improving our health and increase our desire to follow the spiritual path in life. We will be able to understand the depth and greatness of our culture and get rid of negative emotions.

“Shaantakaaram Bhujagashayanam Padmanambham Suresham, Vishwaadhaaram Gaganasadrisham Meghavarnam Shubhangam.

Lakshmikaantam Kamalanayanam Yogihirdhyanagamyam Vande Vishnum Bhava Bhayaharam Sarvalokaikanaatham.”

शान्ताकारं भुजगशयनं पद्मनाभं सुरेशं
विश्वाधारं गगनसदृशं मेघवर्णं शुभाङ्गम् ।
लक्ष्मीकान्तं कमलनयनं योगिभिर्ध्यानगम्यं
वन्द विष्णुं भवभयहरं सर्वलोकैकनाथम् ॥

“I meditate on Lord Vishnu who has a most peaceful appearance, who is lying on the serpent bed of Adishesha, from whose navel has sprung the lotus of the world and who is the Lord of all the gods. He is the substratum of the whole universe and is boundless like the sky with a bluish colour. His form radiates auspiciousness and he is the beloved of the goddess Lakshmi. His eyes are like lotus petals and he is attainable only by yogis who are adept in meditation.  I worship that all-pervading Being who removes the fear of worldly existence by making us realise that we are eternally connected to him. I worship him who is the Lord of all the three worlds!”

So, this week let us all make a concerted effort to practice pranayama and do mantra japa in order to get rid of our angry responses and create a better life for ourselves and those around us who are normally the but of our anger!

Hari Aum Tat Sat!